I Have a Problem With Myself....

This was written by a friend of mine....it really makes you be introspective.


I have a problem with myself. My husband has a problem with his self. My sons have a problem with their selves.

No, I’m not using poor grammar. We do have a problem with our selves. In fact, we all do. It’s our self-will, our pride and our stubbornness.

I’ve been especially having a problem with my oldest son. He has developed a very independent spirit and is placing his self-will, his desires, above the desires of my husband and me.

If you’re not sure if there’s a problem with self-will or pride in your home, ask yourself some of these questions: Is my home marked by constant conflict? (Prov. 13:10) Are children always coming to you tattling? Do your children often act either angry and threatening or broken and hurt (these are both forms of manipulation)? Do your children refuse to accept counsel? (Prov. 12:15) Do your children often act (without your direction) as authorities over each other? Do they suffer from what one of my friends refers to as “too much iniative” (going into the kitchen and making themselves something to eat without asking would be an example of this)? Are they defiant, stubborn and disobedient? (Eph. 6:1) If these circumstances describe your home, then you have a problem with “selves” too.

All of these problems stem from pride and self-will. When these problems exist, our children are putting their desires and their wishes above the desires of others. They stem from a conflict over who should be placed first and a lack of humility. If our children cannot place their wills under ours, how will they ever place them under God’s? If our children cannot compromise with each other, how will they ever be able to love their wives as Christ loved the church or submit to their husbands with reverence? We must be diligent in the area of training humility in our children because it has eternal consequences!

Phillipians 2:3-8 gives us the guidelines on what we should be striving for in ourselves and our children. Jesus is our example. Memorize this Scripture passage and hide it in your heart. Have your children memorize it as well. Write it down on an index card and tape it up around the house as a reminder.

Proverbs 8:13 says “The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.” (ESV) Our children need to have an understanding that God hates pride. They need to be trained to know that God’s ways are higher than our ways, not vice versa. We don’t want God to lament over our children that they would not be gathered under His wings for protection, as Jesus lamented over Jerusalem in Luke 13:34.

But before you start trying to teach your children to be humble, Mother, make sure there is no hypocrisy in you. Go take a good hard look in the mirror as I recently did. Where is your trust, where is your will? Our children are a reflection of us and very often, if we’re seeing an unattractive trait in them, it’s a reflection of something we’re doing. So I ask you, are you submitting to your husband in reverence? Are you honoring and respecting your husband with a meek and quiet spirit? (Col. 3:18, Eph. 5:22-24, 1 Peter 3:1-2) Are you putting the Lord first in everything? Is your faith and trust in the Lord? Are you doing all for Jesus and using your time for the kingdom? (Col. 3:1, Eph. 5:16) Are you doing things that aren’t lovely, holy or pure because you’re too selfish to stop? (Phil. 4:8) If so, you’re giving your children an example of self-will and pride to follow and you have a problem with yourself just as I have a problem with myself. Before you remove the speck from the eyes of your children, take the plank out of your own eye (Matt. 7:1-3) Set your mind on things above (Col. 3:2) and walk worthy of the Lord (Col. 3:10). Pray daily for yourself, your husband and your children and then train your children to submit their wills to you and to God.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go tape Phil. 2:3-8 to the inside of my kitchen cabinets.

by Kelly K.